My Dead Girlfriend Presents:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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ARE YOU AN EMBARRASSING CANADIAN?

 

The following scientific assessment will determine whether or not you are an Embarrassing Canadian:

 

  1. You are a hockey player drafted number one overall. You:

 

  1. Think about all of the lucrative endorsement deals you’ll be offered.
  2. Savour the moment your hockey dream came true.
  3. Refuse to play for the team that drafted you – You are much too good for Quebec.

 

  1. You are a bride planning her wedding. You can choose between:

 

  1. Having your father walk you down the aisle.
  2. Walking down the aisle with your groom.
  3. Being carried down the aisle on a litter by four swarthy men.

 

3.  You are on your honeymoon. You:

 

a. Go traditional and visit Niagara Falls.

b. Prefer something more exotic, like the Caribbean.

c. Film the event for internet distribution.

 

4. You are feeling a little down about yourself. You:

 

a. Call a good friend for reassurance.

b. Count your blessings – being grateful for the little things always helps!

c. Petition England for the title, “Lord”.

 

5. You win a major award for your work. You:

 

a. Thank your coworkers and family.

b. Thank God.

c. Scream, “I am the king of the world” at the top of your lungs.

 

6. You are in charge of a company that produces the most cutting edge product of its kind. You:

 

a. Send out a press release to alert the world of your breakthrough.

b. Advertise and sell your product to the highest bidder.

c. Scrap the project and throw the prototypes into Lake Ontario.

 

7. You are a comic given a show on a cable channel. You:

 

a. Gather the best writers and talent together.

b. Deliver thought provoking satire and social commentary.

c. Interview your parents about their “marital” habits.

 

8. You are having an affair and you think your spouse suspects. You:

 

a. Play it cool until suspicion passes.

b. Tell your spouse the truth.

c. Disappear for three days then show up in Las Vegas claiming to have been abducted.

 

9. You are invited to tour a local centre for the homeless. You:

 

a. Look forward to the chance to see firsthand the effects of poverty.

b. Raise donations to present to the shelter.

c. Loosen up with a few cocktails beforehand.

 

10. You are a hockey player, and you are challenged to a fight. You:

 

a. Get back into the play – you don’t want to draw a penalty.

b. Drop the gloves and go.

c. Use your stick in an attempt to behead your opponent.

 

 

SCORING THE TEST

 

If you did not answer ‘c’ to any of the questions, there is a good possibility you are only somewhat embarrassing. As you are Canadian, you are automatically a little embarrassing.

 

If you answered ‘c’ to any of the above questions, you are an embarrassing Canadian and you will likely be threatening litigation shortly.

 

 

 

 

 

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This website and all of its contents are intended to be entertainment in time-honoured tradition of good ol’ Canadian self-deprecation, and may offend some readers. We apologize for any offense that we may cause, and recommend reader discretion.

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