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My Dead Girlfriend Presents:
MAIN PROFILES
OF EMBARRASSING CANADIANS RULES
& NOMINATIONS
TEST
YOUR SHAME TMEC
STORY/MEDIA TMEC
T-SHIRTS
TMEC STORY 
In the spring of 2004, the Canadian Broadcasting
Corporation began to advertise its newest promotion, “The Greatest Canadian”. As
soon as the words left the announcer’s lips, I recognized the need for “The
Most Embarrassing Canadian”. What is more Canadian than poking fun at
celebrities? It defines us as a people, keeps us humble and grounded. We
Canadians do not deify our famous – leave that to the Yanks. Fueled with beer
and patriotic fervor, I worked late into the night compiling a list of
potential nominees. The next morning I promptly forgot all about it.
Several months went by, votes for the greatest
Canadian rolled in, and the fundamental problems with the CBC project became
apparent: flawed methodology, under-representation of gender and racial
diversity, and the divisiveness inherent in qualifying the term, “great” all
created controversy. The debate began to tear at the very fabric of the nation.
Spontaneous brawls erupted between David Suzuki supporters and Don Cherry fans.
Backers of Fredrick Banting restricted the national
supply of insulin to make their case. Anarchy loomed - the need for an
unflinching examination of
I searched my soul. Was I qualified to tackle this
matter of such grave, national import? Did I have what it takes to write the
ultimate treatise on Canadian shame? A quick survey of friends, family,
coworkers, and ex-girlfriends assured me that, yes, I should know a great deal
about being embarrassing.
Reassured in my mastery of the subject matter, I now
needed to get the word to the people. This was going to be an uphill battle,
given my utter lack of computer familiarity and grade-three literacy level.
Undaunted, and aided by my reading-eye dog Etta-Mae, I began the grueling task
of creating The Most Embarrassing Canadian. This was five days before the CBC
premier of “The Greatest Canadian”. Fueled with beer and patriotic fervor, I
hunted and pecked late into the night.
Since then, votes for The Most Embarrassing Canadian
have rolled in. Canadians from every walk of life have leapt at the chance to
vent spleen on Canadian celebrity. In doing so, they vent something that lurks
within us all, uniting us in mirth, occasionally staining our shirts, and
branding us shamelessly Canadian.
An Embarrassing Canadian
MEDIA
October 19, 2004: Media Release: Vote For the Most Embarrassing Canadian - Website
Satires CBC’s Greatest Canadian
November 1, 2004: Media releases picked up by several
newswires, notably OnlyPunjab.Com,
the Internet Destination for Punjabis Around the
World.
November 22, 2004: Pierre
Berton has yet to return my call, so I phone the helpful Canadian Tire guy at
home to ask his advice. I leave a message on his helpful answering machine.
November 30, 2004: I learn of the passing
of perhaps our greatest chronicler, Pierre Berton, and am devastated. This
really explains his reluctance to take my call on Nov. 8…Pierre Berton, rest in
peace, and thank you for helping Canadians and the rest of the world to
understand who we are.
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