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MAIN       PROFILES OF EMBARRASSING CANADIANS        RULES & NOMINATIONS

 

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MEET SOME EMBARRASSING CANADIANS

 

 

 

Need a little help in selecting The Most Embarrassing Canadian? We have compiled an alphabetical list of just a few embarrassing Canadians – some famous, some relatively unknown, but all truly embarrassing! Let this list be your inspiration, not your limitation – use this list to help you think of any Canadians that are really embarrassing, check out the rules (there aren’t many), and then nominate or vote for your candidate for The Most Embarrassing Canadian. Check back regularly as your nominations are added to The Canadian Hall of Shame!

 

 

 

CANADIAN HALL OF SHAME

 

 

 

 

A

 

Text Box: Dr. Dyane Adam is the Commissioner of Official Languages in Canada, the official watchdog agency that oversees administration of bilingualism in Canada. No telling how much of her $200K salary, $12 million dollar budget, or thirty full-time investigators were wasted on the investigation of Don Cherry’s comments on francophone hockey players, but one voter takes issue with her biased implementation of Canada’s language legislation: “Her department has over 70% Francophones, totally disregarding the most important condition of the Official Languages Act - the Proportionality Principle, which directs that the Federal Public Service should be representative of the linguistic reality of this country. With 22.6% (2001 census) Francophones, mainly concentrated in Quebec, the Public Service is over-representing the French by over 30% across the country!” - KLK DYANE ADAM 19?? –

 

In 2001, the Federal Government decided to give Mandela honorary Canadian citizenship, making him only the second foreigner to receive such an honour. Conservative MP Rob Anders disagreed, calling Mandela, "a communist and a terrorist," decrying Mandela as "the politically correct Left-lib poster boy of today", and predicting that Mandela would be forgotten in 30 years.
Famous for his willingness to reconcile with his oppressors, Mandela attempted to phone Anders to smooth things out, but Anders refused to take the call.
 
ROB ANDERS 1974 –

 

This Ladysmith, B.C. native’s credits include posing nude in playboy, appearing on the jiggle T.V. series Baywatch, marrying has-been rock star Tommy Lee, appearing in pornographic home movies spread across the internet, and setting the feminist movement back a hundred years.
 
PAMELA ANDERSON 1967 –

 

ADRIEN ARCAND 1899 – 1967

Text Box: The “Fuhrer of Quebec”. Arcand was a leader of a Quebec anti-Semitic movement in the thirties and fought against Jewish education and immigration until his death. What history books won’t tell you is that Arcand’s style was the inspiration behind Gomez Adams of “The Adams Family”.

 

 

B

 

Text Box: Andre Bellevance put on an admirable display of social and political suicide when he refused to ship Canadian flags to Canadian war veterans for Remembrance Day, saying he shouldn’t have to as he is a Quebec sovereigntist. The acrimony he has received from Canadians of all political beliefs will pale in comparison to the greeting he will receive from our fallen men and women of the armed forces in the hereafter, if there is any justice.ANDRE BELLEVANCE 1975 –

 

 

Text Box: Todd Bertuzzi dragged Canada’s beloved national sport through the muck with his intentional sucker-punch/pile driving of opposing player Steve Moore in front of horrified fans and TV cameras, breaking Moore’s neck and earning Bertuzzi a suspension from the regular season, playoffs, and possibly more – a punishment applauded by even the rowdiest fan. TODD BERTUZZI 1975 –

 

CONRAD BLACK 1944 –

Text Box: Born into money, Conrad Black took that money and made more money from buying newspapers all over Canada, and with that money he made gobs of money from buying newspapers all over the world, until he had an empire. This was not yet enough for Black – he wanted a title to go with it. When Canadians opposed a foreign government granting rights and titles in their sovereign country and the Canadian government passed a bill to prevent it, Black renounced his Canadian citizenship.  

 

ROBERT L. BORDEN 1854 – 1937

Text Box: Fearing a homeland uprising (or cabbage rolls), Prime Minister Borden interned Ukrainians during World War I.

 

EDGAR BRONFMAN JR. 1955 –

Text Box: This spoiled-rich Seagram’s heir has been squandering his family’s money on a failed attempt to be a movie-maker. Bronfman has been designated “the movie industry’s official idiot”, according to Slate magazine.

 

DR. GERALD BULL 1928 – 1990

Text Box: Dr. Gerald Bull was a notorious Canadian scientist trying to invent a “super gun” capable of lobbing bombs hundreds of kilometers. His client list included Saddam Hussein. He was found murdered in Brussels and many suspected the Israelis, but nobody really minded.

 

MIKE BULLARD 1957 –

Text Box: This late night T.V. blowhard can’t seem to get enough of his own voice, constantly interrupting his guests and laughing at his own jokes. Canadians have had enough, however, as his talk show has been cancelled, retooled, re-debuted, and, mercifully, cancelled again.

 

C

 

JAMES CAMERON 1954 –

Text Box: His cries of, “I am the King of the World” during his Academy Award acceptance speech made the flesh of a nation crawl, and set off a frenzy of activity at the Department for Foreign Affairs aimed at having his citizenship revoked. Americans reacted by saying, “are you sure he isn’t American?”

 

GORDON CAMPBELL 1948 –

Text Box: This Premier of British Columbia embarrassed Lotusland and all of Canada when arrested in Hawaii for drunk driving after having consumed three martinis and “several” glasses of wine. Said the Premier, “I should not have been operating a motor vehicle.” This remarkable grasp of the obvious in hindsight may explain many of Mr. Campbell’s policy decisions, while the remainder can be chalked up to the shooters.

 

JIM CARREY 1962 –

Text Box: This rubber-faced jackass burst onto the comedy scene by talking out of his ass, and his subsequent acting performances were delivered in much the same fashion. Ever see “The Cable Guy”?

 

DON CHERRY 1934 –

 

Text Box: Our favorite Chretienism: “Drugs? I thought you said, ‘Trucks’.” JEAN CHRETIEN 1934 –

 

BOBBY CLARK 1949 –

Text Box: This famed member of the “Broadstreet Bullies” won Stanley Cups in 1974 and 1975, and played for Canada in the fabled 1972 Summit series between Russia and Canada. When he noticed that an opposing player was favouring an ankle, Clark delivered a two handed chop with his stick that knocked the player out of the series and forever associated Canadian hockey with goonery in the eyes of the world.

 

ADRIENNE CLARKSON 1939 –

Text Box: We at TMEC feel that Ms. Clarkson is a bargain in the Canadian, ‘submarines-for-a-steal’ tradition: A Governor General with fifteen capitol letters behind her name (Her Excellency the Right Honourable Adrienne Clarkson, C.C., C.M.M., C.O.M., C.D., Governor General and Commander-in-Chief of Canada – that’s $1.27 million per letter!), plus we get a famous intellectual and writer included at no extra cost! Canadians have been voting for Ms. Clarkson in droves. LP from Calgary writes: “…we lowly Canadians have no say whatsoever about how long she continues to feed at the trough of over-indulgence…I was particularly impressed with the cost of her sojourn to the other “circumpolar” countries [$5.3 million! – TMEC Ed.], where she traveled with an entourage of 59 hangers-on to conduct…“a vigorous exchange of ideas and culture affirming and strengthening our shared northern identity”. What? Oh yeah, they also took some Canadian wine to share, too…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

BRUCE COCKBURN 1945 –

 

STEVEN COJOCARU 1962 –

Text Box: This T.V. fashion pundit came from nowhere and, if he is wise, has hung onto to his return ticket. His fashion advice will go over big at Le Chateau.

 

SHEILA COPPS 1952 –

 

D

 

STOCKWELL DAY 1950 –

Text Box: When one recalls the image of Stockwell Day clad in his tight, shiny, blue wetsuit roaring up to the beach on his jet ski to greet the press, it is easy to forget that this one-time Reform party federal leadership hopeful is antiabortion, anti sex education, anti gun-control, and has worked to have books censored from schools. He is also none-too-bright and eager to talk to the press: "…what the CBC needs is an injection of capitol, so they should sell shares to Canadians." - Stockwell Day, speaking with press about the media corporation owned by all Canadians.

 

 

JOHN DIEFENBAKER 1895 – 1976

Text Box: John Diefenbaker was an admirable prime minister whose achievements included appointing Canada’s first female Cabinet Minister and the Bill of Rights of 1958. Then he knuckled under to the USA’s pressure to join their strategic missile defense program and astutely cancelled the Avro Arrow project, robbing Canada of having the world’s most technologically advanced air force and its rightful place at the forefront of aerospace technology.

 

CELINE DION 1968 –

Text Box: Celine Dion burst on the scene in 1988 when she won the Eurovision Song Contest, so Europe is partly to blame. Celine went on to become one of the most successful purveyors of saccharine schmaltz in the world, taking Las Vegas by storm and inflicting the world with that damned Titanic song, which is now required by law to be played at every Canadian funeral.

 

JAMES DOOHAN 1920 –

Text Box: Along with shipmate William Shatner and Lorne Greene, James Doohan was part of the “Canadian Invasion” of the sixties, a crazy time in history when schmaltzy overacting and a pot-belly was a Canadian actor’s ticket to fame and fortune.

 

FRANCOISE DUCROS 19?? –

 

E

 

ALAN EAGLESON 1933 –

Text Box: St. Catherines, Ontario lawyer, agent, and first Executive Director of NHL Players Association, Alan Eagleson managed the Team Canada vs. Soviet series in 1972. He was caught with his hand in the cookie jar and charged with racketeering and defrauding NHLPA in 1994. Sentenced to 18 months in jail after pleading guilty, he only served 6 months. Eagleson resigned from the Hockey Hall of Fame in 1998.

 

 

REBECCA ECKLER 19?? –

 

MOHAMED ELMASRY 1943 –

This Canadian Professor and Muslim leader backed up faster than Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk after Canadians reacted to his anti-Semitic comments with outrage. Mr. Elmasry took the occasion of his appearance on a television talk show to justify the killing of any Israeli citizen over the age of eighteen.
 

 

F

 

STEVE FONYO 1965 –

Text Box: Fonyo’s “Journey for Life” run across Canada raised in excess of thirteen million dollars to fund cancer research, and in 1987, he was awarded the Order of Canada. He then went on an alcohol and drug fueled crime spree that resulted in sixteen charges, including assault with a weapon, fraud, theft, and firearms offences.

 

BRENDAN FRASER 1967 –

 

DAVID FRUM 1960 –

 

 

Text Box: MP Hedy Fry played the racism card in the House of Commons by claiming of her rural constituents that, "crosses are being burned as we speak." As it turned out, not a single incident of cross burning had ever occurred in her riding, and her constituents felt “pretty good” about issues of racial relations. HEDY FRY 1941 –

 

G

 

JAMES GAY 1810 – 1891

Text Box: This self-proclaimed Poet-Laureate of Canada felt he was the next Alfred Lord Tennyson, and wrote him letters to tell him so. He was possibly the worst writer in the history of the written word. Don’t take our word for it: “I came on Earth a natural born poet, And for the good of fellow –men the world shall know it; My talents received are too bright understand, Even to be buried in the sand.”

 

TOM GREEN 1971 –

 

 

H

 

MONTY HALL 1921 –